Ashes

"Brad Berg:
As a married man, I find the two best things to put things to right are a) be sincere and honest, and b) be the first to apologize. And don't just say you're sorry, tell her why you're sorry. If it was all her fault, apologize for you both having to endure this. (That way, you're not admitting any fault, but the sentiment is there.)
4 hours ago"

Brad, I don't actually know you, but i have a great respect for you.

I think what i like about working with glass is that i feel really hardcore using equipment that could rip or melt your face off, while i work with a material that is so fragile it could literally shatter in my hands at any moment. and it has. In fact it's probably the second most dangerous and most beautiful thing that i do and i think that is what makes it so exciting.

Medical Illustration huh...now there's an idea.

So i always thought I'd move south after college, because it's warmer and there is no winter. but now that it seems like my friends are all either in or moving to Baltimore or near-ish to it, it just doesn't seem worth it to move to Georgia. of course it all depends on if I get a job and if said job requires me to be anywhere ear it, since most of illustration correspondence only requires internet access these days.
I'm pretty sure that i will do grad school as long as mom's cool teaching job will pay for health insurance while i'm a student. Which as long as she has it, it will until i'm 25, which means i can take a year off and then go for a masters in a two year program. which most art therapy programs are. I still have to look into glass. Art therapy is good and all. But I do get more excited about glass. But i don't need a masters in glass to make stuff. where to be an art therapist i would need a masters in art therapy. There are a couple programs in northern virginia, close enough to Maryland to have internships at the children's hospital NIH. which would be sooooo cool.
And of course it all depends upon many unforeseeable outcomes of the next two years. I guess i'll see what happens.

The End.

omg dude how can you smoke so much pot?!

i was just curious if seeking higher education could shorten your life

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/03/world/americas/03iht-lifespan.4090195.html?_r=1&pagewanted=2

but what about all the terribly unheathly habits we pick up in college? i would think the stress and everytihng leads to shorter life, but that i guess doesn't effect everyone

ahhh i see why it is we don't get along. I am in idea land, while you are in emotion land. You are trying to handle that which you think you should be able to, while i ignore and separate myself from that which i cannot handle. You don't like being on the outside, but you also can't get over here in idea land, so you just get all pissy about it and try to get all the attention back to you. the world is against you. except it's not, you ma'am are against the world. And i refuse to fight with you about what color the baby is because it DOESN'T MATTER!
and when you do talk about something that actually matters you cannot stand to be told you are wrong, and you usually are, but you refuse to see a perspective other than your own. That my dear is why we will never get along. unless maybe, you grow up and get over yourself.

After watching her father go through 7 awful marriage and divorces, it's no wonder queen Elizabeth never married. and no doubt she was a smart lady. And as i sit here watching the Tudors I get sooo mad at the fucking double standard. and also at catholicism. and also anyone who equates sex to love, because the two are not a package deal and getting one does not mean you'll get the other, nor does either or both mean that you will be happy. actually it makes me think abouty everything i find frustrating in the entire human population and how we communicate with one another. But i'd rather be angry than ignorant, so i guess that's why i like the show.
EDIT: now that i am thinking about it, it's pretty impressive, to dislike nearly every character in this show and yet still be compelled to watch it.

So i was just looking at pictures from Faerie Con, which i usually go to but i just had better plans this past weekend. And i was like....something about this background feels really familiar.  oh yeah! It was at Hunt Valley.

we definitely don't listen to the same music. so sometimes, when you put lyrics in your status, i copy them and into google to see what song it is. it's like playing detective.

So i lost my hard drive and my flash drive a month ago. And after i stopped looking for them, i found my hard drive in the senior studio. This morning Rosea says "Ashley did you lose a flash drive?" YES! technology has come back to me. But now both of my pairs of scissors have disappeared this week (this happened last semester and i finally found them, and now they are gone again)

I find the TV show The Tudors to be fascinating, because of the way that women are treated. hardly above slaves. But that's how it was and i can only speculate as to how it came to be that way, and cringe at how the bible was used to defend that attitude. But what is the most fascinating is how women responded, knowing they were ultimately at the mercy of their fathers, brothers and husbands. what a terrifying way to live.

I don't think anything makes me happier than waking up with sunshine in my face. i'll lay in bed for anywhere from 10 min to two hours just soaking up those rays. like a cat, i love it.

and i suppose, if that is all there is, that would be okay.

I dreamt i was trying to learn to skateboard again, in the middle of broad street i failed just like in real life. at least i didn't face plant though.

so it's that time of the year again. shall i take figure utilization or relief monotype OR pretend that doing a senior practicum and an illustration internship at the same time won't be killer. I think what i want actually want to do is just do the internship next year and it'll be unofficial, because it doesn't really matter if i get school credit for it, it's not like i need the credits. I just want to learn stuff.
I don't think i really wanna take relief monotype, i'm doing some version of monoprints for my next project, and it's kinda cool.
I'm definitely taking glass again wtih Jess.
So really the only question is do i care enought to take Figure Utilization? maybe i just sign up for it for fun, paul is a cool teacher, but 4 studio classes is a lot. but i'll only have the one liberal arts. but it is gonna be crazy. It sure is tempting to do only 12 credits and have lots of time to do art. or maybe even like read stuff not for class, or do projects i have promised people. But i mean it doesn't hurt to know more about the figure either you know?
I think maybe i won't take it.
and i have no idea what do to for figure comm. oyi!

A strange feeling has overcome me. and that is that nothing matters.

Most of the time, i don't even watch movies anymore. I just listen while i do homework or something "important" So i put on this obscure movie, as i often do, and was stretching. I picked it because the cover looked more interesting than the other options on netflix anyway i became completely absorbed.

The movie is "Keith" 2008. It's beautiful. and if you have any interest in psychology i think you'll appreciate it.

"dangerous Beauty" is also a fine feminist romance.

I can't wait to graduate. and get a shit job, where i don't have homework and i can go home and just hang out. and do art only when i really feel like it (which might be just jewelry/glass stuff) and when i get bored of that (i give it about a year) go to grad school for art therapy or glass. probably art therapy.